With a Little Help from My Friends
by thermopylae
Summary: A collection of oneshots written for various people, based on pairings and prompts. NS, NL, KakuLucci, ViviKohza, CrocodileLuffy, LuffyShanks, ShanksMakino, FrankyRobin. Pick your poison :D
1. Interests and Intentions

**Disclaimer:** "One Piece" and its characters belong to Eiichiro Oda. I make no profit of this work and never will, more's the pity.

**Notes:** These are a collection of one-shots that I wrote for various people. They're kind of awkward because some of them aren't characters or pairings I usually think to write, but some of them turned out pretty well, I think. It was refreshing to make a mental switch from my usual work. And I swear to God I am still working on my longer works - 'Snow Queen' especially

**Interests and Intentions** (written for ironpuncher2; pairing is Franky/Robin; prompt is "love is friendship set on fire"; no spoilers)

It looked so easy when the others did it. How did they do it?

It wasn't as if they talked about anything _interesting_ - leastways, he amended hastily, probably very interesting to themselves but undoubtedly much less so to a woman of Nico Robin's constitution. The bossy li'l Miss chattered on about clothes and hair and shoes without end. Chopper-monster went on almost as long about medicine and diseases. What kind of lady wanted to hear about that? Sniper Bro's stories could be pretty super, but all day? All the time?

And still, without looking up from her book, at some opportune lull, Robin would always say some quiet thing to give Nami or Chopper or Usopp or Luffy or Sanji or hell even Zoro some new burst of enthusiasm for the conversation. That never happened when Franky talked to her. He'd make some remark, and she'd make some remark, and he'd kind of say something lame like "Yeah, I know what you mean," and she would go back to her book and he'd have to wait around until one of the kids came crashing by and jump-started the party again. It was weird. Franky was a friendly guy. People liked him. He'd never had trouble shooting the breeze with his Family. Maybe there was more to this 'nakama' business than Mugiwara had let on. If he couldn't even be friends with Nico Robin, then forget about being - well.

Oh sure, they talked plenty back in Enies Lobby, and in Water 7 someone was always ready to jaw around a cold mug of beer. But there had been, well, context. Pretty lady down in the dumps, wanting to throw her life away - sure, a guy would dig any flavor of cola out of his ass to cheer her up. Not so easy when the lady was back with her crew and he was the new guy. What was he supposed to talk about now? _Hey, remember that time you got blackmailed by the World Government? Pretty wild, huh?_

So not super.

The trick, Franky thought, lay in turning the tables. The Art of Conversation or whatever Iceberg was always going on about. Don't talk about _your_ interests, talk about hers. But what the hell was Robin interested in? He decided to ask around.

"Lacy underwear," Sanji said firmly.

Franky looked at him blankly. "Where am I gonna get lacy underwear from?"

That was when the cook got some kind of weird nosebleed and had to run to the bathroom before he bled all over the lettuce.

"Perfume," Nami said. "Dresses. Floral patterns. Nice jewelry."

Li'l Miss wasn't an airhead - Franky knew that - but damn if she didn't sound like one right now.

Zoro gave it the most thought, his brows furrowed in concentration as he raised those giant steel weights once, twice, five hundred times above his head. "Barbells," he said finally.

"Barbells," Franky repeated.

"Yeah."

"That's what _you_ like!"

Zoro stared at him. "What's the difference?"

"I ain't even touchin' that one," Franky muttered as he made his way up to the crow's nest for a last-ditch effort. The hell was the matter with these kids? Been through hell and high water with this woman and didn't even know what she liked?

"Oh! But that's easy!" Chopper took his eye away from the spyglass and smiled happily up at Franky. "Books!"

He stared back, nonplussed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Now Chopper sounded positively rapturous. "Whenever we land at an island Nami gives us some money and me and Robin go to the bookstore and stay there for _hours_!"

Huh. Franky thought that over while he slid back down the mast. Books, eh? He wasn't much of a reading man, but it sounded a lot more plausible than barbells.

Which was why, the next time they paused at an island for supplies, Franky found himself walking nervously into a bookshop on the main street. It was cramped and nobody talked above a whisper. He kept trying to tuck in his arms, in case he was taking up too much space.

_Think, man. Walk a mile in her shoes. You're a beautiful woman. You're twenty-eight. You're wearing knee-high boots. You've survived two Buster Calls and you can snap a man's spine in half. What kind of books do you like?_

In the end he chose a book about piranhas.

He came out of the shop scratching his head, and was even more embarrassed when Nico Robin emerged from a store across the street. He hadn't noticed there were two bookstores facing each other.

"What a nice surprise," said Robin, and sounded like she meant it.

"Yeah, well..." Franky made some vague gesture. "Where's Reindeer-Bro?"

Robin started down the street, and Franky rushed after her. "Mr. Doctor has a question for the storekeeper," she said. "But I noticed you leaving and thought we might walk back to the ship together."

"Really?" Franky felt his face get hot. "Aw, you don't gotta do that, Nico Robin, I can walk back fine -"

"May I see what you bought?" she interrupted him, and bashfully he held out the book about piranhas, which Robin took with cool fingers . "Fascinating creatures," she said thoughtfully, leafing through the pages. "Truly one of the wonders of the aquatic world."

"I heard they eat cows," Franky replied doubtfully. "Uh - what'd you get?"

In reply, Robin held out the volume in her own hand. Franky took it gingerly. "'A History of Battleships,'" he read aloud. "Hey! This sounds really super!" He ran a heavy thumb through. "It's got pictures and everything!"

"Yes, it looked interesting." Robin smiled at him.

"I ain't much of a reading man," Franky said absently, absorbed in the blueprint of a galley ship, "but this looks really great. Didn't think you'd be much into this kinda stuff, Robin, ya know? Everyone else was saying you like perfume and barbells and shit."

Robin laughed. "I'm interested in many things," she said. "And if you wouldn't mind, I'd love your opinion on the book."

It was almost enough to make Franky's legs stop moving altogether. As it was, he had to pretend the falter in his step was just due to a loose cobblestone. "Ya mean that? You wanna talk about battleships with me?"

"Of course. We're friends, aren't we?"

Nico Robin reached out and laid a hand on his arm. And though Franky's sense of touch wasn't what it used to be, what with the nuts and bolts and layers of metal, he was old enough to know what it meant.

So he slowed his gait a little more to match hers, and offered her his elbow, and as she took it with that funny little smile he even began to think that a cyborg and a hundred-armed woman could really work things out. Because after all, they were already friends, and they had no shortage of things to talk about.

--End--

**notes:** So far I have resisted the Franky/Robin because it interferes with my other favored pairings: Robin/Zoro and Robin/Aokiji/Bicycle XD But it always looks really cute when other people present it, so I wanted to capture some of that. It was hard writing from Franky's POV because for me, his character still feels very scattered - he changes his mood around so much. So I made him a little self-conscious about it and kind of feeling that age gap. Feedback is very much appreciated :D


	2. Instinct

**Instinct** (written for sasorikatana; pairing is Kaku/Lucci; prompt is "instinct"; possible spoilers for Enies Lobby)

The room was sanitary and severe. A passing breeze barely lifted the white starched curtains. There were just two beds in the room, spaced well apart from each other along one wall. Kaku lay in one and Rob Lucci in the other. Wrapped in bandages, anchored into place by stiff bedsheets, the only things that distinguished them from the whitewashed space was an elongated nose here, thick black curls there. Kaku passed the time by pressing an argument five years in the making.

"'Tain't such an outlandish idea. Common as apple pie, to my mind."

"Not among CP units."

"If it's CP, they'd hardly go jawing that around, would they."

"I've told you before. It is not a matter for discussion."

"Well, now hang on a tic. Two years ago you mighta had a point; maybe even last week it mighta been a right awkward topic o' conversation. But the mission bang fell apart, didn't it? We're idle agents now. Heck, once we get out of Hospital we might not even be that anymore."

"Relationships between co-workers are not encouraged."

"Oh, I don't know. I suppose once you get to my age you don't care so much what everyone says."

"Kaku. You're twenty-three."

"Old enough to know my own mind."

"I would not be a good choice for you."

"Aye, that's what you said last year and the year before that and the year before that, yet you still look a pretty apple to me."

"I am not an apple."

"You know right-tootin' that's just your brain talking, Rob Lucci. Sometimes you gotta throw reason to the wind and trust your instincts: this I tell you true."

"You are a giraffe. I am a leopard. My instinct is to kill you. Yours is to run away."

"Don't be too darn sure. A giraffe's prime predator is the lion, whilst the leopard's off noshing on gazelles and impalas and whatnot. Seems to me like their paths don't cross too often. A creature doesn't know to run away if he doesn't know what there is to fear."

"That is an unusual perspective."

"Like it? The nice hospital gal who does our beds was kind enough to bring me a book."

"Yet your path and mine cross often enough."

"Aye, but I'm a carnivore and my hoofs are made of tough stuff. And I've naught to fear from you, Rob Lucci, no more than that pigeon fears perching on your shoulder there."

"I believe you are confusing Hattori with the phenomenon of waterbirds and the hippopotamus."

"'Tweren't my aim to read about hippopotamuses. She only brought me a book on giraffes."

"Your theory has not been tested."

"Could test it right now."

"We would break the beds."

"They've got lots.

"Now I'm reaching out my hoof like this, and you put out your paw and retract those claws while you're at it, and we'll see about instinct."

"So they will remove us from CP9."

"So says the breeze. 'Course, she often lies. There's not many who could have gotten half as far as you, Lucci."

"What does the leopard do if he is cast out of the jungle?"

"He lives on the savannah with the giraffe. It's his natural habitat."

"I have not felt this tired in many years, Kaku."

"Aye, I'm tuckered as well. Get yourself to sleep, Lucci. No need to keep one eye open. There's nobody here but me."

And that was how the nice hospital gal found them - a leopard with his head of black curls tucked into the nook of the giraffe's neck curled around his shoulders; both asleep; a hoof resting beneath a padded paw - when she came to scold them for breaking the beds.

--End--  
**notes:** I didn't know how to make Kaku sound like an old man without him waving a cane and making him yell "Back in my day...!" Old-man English is hard, yo ;; This fic is...so-so. I wish I could have written something more interesting for sasorikatana, but to be honest Rob Lucci doesn't interest me at all as a character. He was more engaging in Water 7 serving as a foil for Paulie's antics, but once he became a Serious Business guy in a Serious Business situation, I just went "...eh." Kaku's half of the conversation was more fun to write; I hope it's enough to carry the whole fic but again, this one doesn't really stand out for me :/


	3. Stories on a Winter Afternoon

**Stories on a Winter Afternoon**** (written for hakuchocygnus; pairing is Shanks/Makino; prompt is "destiny"; no spoilers) **

"Got a story for you," Shanks said conversationally one gray morning as the bar rested before the noon rush. "It's a pretty good one, too." 

"Oh?" Makino raised her eyebrows politely and laid a tankard of ale in front of the travelworn pirate captain. "It won't lessen your bill, you know." 

Shanks laughed. "That's all right, my sweet. I've enough gold to pay my way; aye, and balance my tab as well. All right then, the story. Seems there was a girl once, prettiest lass this side of the Grand Line, and she worked at the nicest little bar in East Blue. Now this girl was born and raised in a small town on a small island, the kind of place you'd take a nap on on your way to somewhere else. Most young people packed up their boats for other shores soon as they were big, but this girl seemed glued to the far side of the bar counter, winter and spring, rain and shine. Sometimes a pirate captain stopped by the bar, whenever he was in town. This pirate captain was beat up and scarred and missing an arm, but the girl treated him as nice as the other customers. Sometimes the pirate captain thought she treated him nicer, even. 

"The pirate captain liked this little town because it was a peaceful place to rest between voyages, and he liked the bar girl because she was sweet and gentle and kind and never had a bad word to say about anyone, not even about a rough old seadog like him. The girl never saw the pirate captain for any long stretch o' time, though, seeing as he was always going off t' find new islands and fight other pirate crews. There was a time, for ten years when a hullabaloo was goin' down on the Grand Line, when she didn't see him at all. But one winter's day she looked up from polishin' wine glasses and in he walked through the door, his clothes all stained and his body all done in from weatherin' the Grand Line, but glad to see her as always. And he made a proposal to her. 'Lady,' he said, 'I'm settin' off again right quick, but this time I want you t' come with me. We'll sail up and down the four Blues and take our holidays on the Grand Line.' 

"Now, the ending of the story's where I get muddled. What'dyou think, then? Does the girl spend the rest of her pretty days in a small bar in a small town on a small island, or does she go off wi' the pirate captain t' see the whole wide world?" 

Shanks looked at Makino expectantly around a mugful of beer. Makino continued to busy herself behind the bar, a curious smile playing about her lips. 

"Do you know," she said thoughtfully, "we have the same story here in Fuchia." 

"Oh, aye?" Shanks wiped away a bit of foam clinging to his moustache. 

"Aye. But we tell it a bit different. You see, in our tale the pirate captain can never seem to stop moving. Something about the sea calls out to him, forces him to leave dry land once his feet are rested and his belly is full. But there was one small island in East Blue he returned to sometimes, afore he made his fortune on the Grand Line. The people of this island weren't overly fond of pirates, but they liked this pirate captain and his crew because they treated the townsfolk with a bit of respect. They didn't loot the houses or ruin the crops, and if they couldn't pay for their drink they helped out with odd jobs around town. There was a girl who worked in the bar, and she liked the pirate captain too. He took care of his friends and played fair, and she thought that was nice. Now, this girl was born and raised in the small town, and even though many of her friends set sail for other islands soon as they were grown, this girl stayed. She loved her neighbors' stories and how everyone in town greeted each other by name. She loved the outline of the town's windmills against the sky, and seeing the tulips push their way above ground in the spring after a long winter's sleep. The world was a big wide place, she knew that, with lots of wonderful things to see. But she was all right with letting other people see them.й For herself, it was enough just living with the seasons and looking forward to the tulips. 

"The pirate captain thought the bar girl a right strange creature, and left the village after kicking up a ruckus with some local bandits. He didn't return for more than ten years. But one winter's day he got a hankering to go back to that little town in East Blue, and when he walked in the door, there was the girl polishing wine glasses just like he left her. And the girl offered him a proposal. 'Mr. Pirate,' she said, 'stay with me a while. My house is warm and the wind blows sweetly in summer. If ever your wandering feet wanted a home, I'd open my door gladly.' 

"And do you know, Shanks? Nobody here can agree on the ending, either. Some say the pirate captain stayed. Other say he couldn't help but sail away again, leaving the bar girl to marry the nice local lad who lived down the street from her. What do you think, then?" Makino put down her cloth and looked at the red-haired pirate inquiringly. 

Shanks turned the mug of beer first this way, then that in his hand. "I see," he said slowly. "So the question is: Is it the bar girl's destiny t' sail the world, or is it the pirate captain's destiny t' find an end to his wandering?" 

"Aye. It's amazing how local versions can differ." 

Before Shanks could make a reply, the door to the bar banged open, rattling in a gust of chill winter wind and a cluster of hot voices. The mayor and his friends, along with most of Shank's crew, were arriving for their midday meal. 

"Will ye look at this!" The Mayo thumped a knobby hand against the front page of the day's paper. "Our Luffy's gone wreaking havoc again!й What has gotten into that boy; that's what I want to know." In his excitement, he began waving his cane in the air and nearly toppled over before a few helping hands managed to catch him. 

"Aw, don't go overexcitin' yerself, Mayor," someone said. "Our Luffy's makin' a name fer 'imself, s'all." 

"I've no problem with making names," the Mayor retorted. "'S _kind_ o' name he's making what I'm worryin' after." He thumped the paper again and then graciously allowed himself to be helped to a table. 

Behind him, Lucky Roux slammed the door shut again and guffawed. "What name's better'na pirate name?" he roared, and the crew responded with a resounding "None!" 

The mayor waved them off. "Pirates," he said disgustedly. "More importantly -" he rattled the paper open - "what in all the Blues is Heinrik thinkin'? No wonder'n his tulips grow all crooked. Makino! A mug o' beer for these old bones." 

Makino was already hurrying over with not one beer but a whole tray, which she set down at the Mayor's table, gesturing to the other servers to bring more. "Aye, but Heinrik's had a hard year," she commented. "That business with Mr. Jansen didn't end well." 

Talk of Mr. Jansen - who wasn't in the bar that day - drew the knot of villagers closer around the table. Makino took the empty tray and slipped back away to the bar. 

"A hard man, Mr. Jansen," Shanks heard someone say. "Didn't let Heinrik off gentle." 

"Aye," said a woman, "not t' mention his poor wife..." 

A suddenly erected wall of low voices cut off, even to Shanks's straining ears, any further gossip of What Heinrik was thinking and how the business with Mr. Jansen ended; what it had to do with his poor wife and howhis tulips were coming up crooked; how any of that could possibly be more important than Luffy kicking up a ruckus on the Grand Line. Presently, he gave up and turned back to the bar. 

He watched her serve food and drink for a while, turning things over in his mind. Finally he said, diffidently, "Makino," and was warmed when she arched her smile back his way. 

"It's a funny thing," he began, "but I think you left out a part of your story." 

"Oh?" 

"You left out the part where th' pirate captain stays with the girl through the winter, to see what all the fuss over tulips is about." 

He was impressed to see that she didn't even blush. She said, "Have your men bring up your luggage then, and we'll find a better place for your ship." 

"I might go away again in the spring," Shanks said. 

"You might," she agreed. "Only the tulips will know for sure." 

And something in the way she said it, as matter-of-fact as though this was the destiny laid on them since the birth of their days, convinced him it was so. 

--End--  



	4. Pirate Lessons

**Pirate Lessons** (written for jubin; no pairings; characters are Luffy+Shanks; prompt is "sniper"; no spoilers) 

Wahooooo! Shanks taught me a joke today: Sniper? I barely know her! 

I'm not really sure what it means but everyone laughed real hard when he told it at the bar so it must be really funny. A real pirate joke! I can't wait 'till I'm a pirate so's I can use it. I told it to Makino an' she laughed but Mayor said it was disgraceful for a boy to be carrying on like a seadog. The Mayor is so funny! 

I asked Shanks if he'd take me with him on his next trip. He said no. Whatever - I'll show him! I'm gonna be just like him! I'm gonna have a _hundred_ people in my crew and we're gonna have a _huge_ ship and have parties _all_ the time! I'm gonna find the One Piece and that'll make me the **PIRATE KING**! And everyone's gonna wanna be my friend. Then me an' Shanks will put our crews together and we'll have one big _awesome_ crew and me an' Shanks will have _lots_ of cool adventures. An' when he's in trouble 'cause another pirate's making him walk the plank, I'll jump in and save him and he'll say "Thanks, Luffy, you're a real lifesaver" and _I'll_ say "Saver? I barely know her!" and everyone will laugh and it'll be _so cool_. 

Me an' Shanks are gonna be the best pirates ever. 

Maybe Makino can come and make us lunch. 

I asked Shanks what do I need to make a pirate crew and he said this is what you need: 

A first mate. That's Ben. He is the guy who always takes the captain's side in a fight. I asked why would a pirate crew fight if everyone is friends but Shanks said you just need one. 

A navigator. I dunno who is Shanks's navigator but he is the person who tells you where you are going. 

A doctor. In case you get sick but I never get sick so I don't think I'll need one. 

A cook. Makino said being a pirate cook sounded like fun but she'd rather stay here in Fuchsia so I gotta find someone else. 

A sniper. That's Yasopp. He can shoot things from really far away. He is soooo funny but sometimes he's real boring. Like when he drinks a lot of beer and starts telling stories about his son who is the same age as me. Like when I do something bad he always says his son is the best son ever and he's so smart and so brave and so good at fixing stuff that's broke and hoooooow much he misses him and he wants to see his son again and it's so _boring_! I asked him why is he a pirate then and he said I wouldn't get it and I said yes I would and he said he loves his son but you can't help going out to sea. 

I didn't get it so I asked Shanks how come he made Yasopp join his crew if Yasopp had a wife and a son the same age as me. 

Shanks said he didn't make Yasopp do nothin' 'cause you can't make anyone do nothin' they don't want in that case 

an' I said why did Yasopp want to leave his son if he loves him soooo much 

an' he said sometimes there are things you want but not the way you want to go to the circus or eat ice cream before dinner, an' you gotta do them no matter what, even if you love your son a whole lot 

an' I said doesn't his son feel sad 'cause i'd be real sad if Ace left me alone 

an' he said Yasopp's son is the son of a pirate! An' his wife is the wife of a pirate! They understand exactly how Yasopp feels and if they don't then there is just no helping some people 

an' I said I don't get it 

an' he said listen, Luffy, what's something you wanna do more than anything 

an' I said I'm gonna be the Pirate King! 

an' he said how're you gonna do that 

an' I said I'm gonna sail around the world an' find the One Piece 

an' he said but you gotta leave the village to do that, right? But you love everybody here, right? 

an' I said maybe Makino can come 

but he said what if she can't 

an' I said maybe the Mayor can come 

but he said what if he can't 

an' I said in a real small voice maybe Ace can come 

but he said what if he can't 

an' I didn't know what to say. 

Shanks said if no one could go with you would you still want to be the Pirate King? 

I thought about it real hard and I said yes because I wanted to be the Pirate King no matter what, even if I had to go alone. 

Shanks said then stop picking on my sniper and then he pointed at my shirt and said hey what's that and I looked down 'cause I thought there was a stain and he flipped his finger and hit me in the nose! He yelled hey everyone! Luffy here thinks he can be a pirate but he still falls for cheap tricks like this! An' everyone laughed at me and Makino had to bring me a glass of juice or else I woulda beat Shanks up right then'n there! 

That was last week. This week I ate a devil fruit so now I can stretch my arms like a rubber band and I got kidnapped by bandits and thrown into the ocean and a Seaking almost ate me but Shanks saved me and the Seaking ate his arm and today he and Ben and Yasopp and Lucky Roux and everyone sailed away. 

Shanks gave me his hat, but he didn't take me with him. 

I cried a lot. 

But he tol' me to keep his hat safe so I _am_ and Makino says we'll definitely meet again so we _will_ and Ace says this just means I gotta get stronger so's I can meet him on the ocean someday so I'm _gonna_. I'm gonna be just like Shanks! 

Here is something else Shanks said to me: he said, you know, Luffy, pirates never travel alone. The best pirates are always part of a crew, 'cause otherwise it's no fun. An' the _very_ best pirates are the ones who can recognize when someone's just gotta go out to sea no matter what. 

So it'll be okay if Makino and Mayor and Ace can't come with me 'cause I won't be alone. I've got Hat now and there are lots of friends waiting for me somewhere and we're gonna have _lots_ of adventures and parties _all_ the time and when they're in trouble I'll jump in an' save them and when I'm in trouble they'll jump in an' save me 

an' it's gonna be _so cool_. 

--End--  
**notes:** This was the hardest to write - it was difficult finding the right POV and the right group of characters. At first I was going to do an exchange between Luffy and Usopp with Shanks in absentia, and then a Luffy-Shanks-Yasopp combo about Usopp, and then Luffy and Shanks meeting up in the future...but none of those felt right. But I remembered I've wanted to do a Luffy 1st person POV for a while, and also that I wanted to explore a possible fear of being alone - so this was a first result. It came out pretty well. I'm glad the feeling remained fairly upbeat; for such a cheerful guy, Luffy gets thrown into a lot of angsty situations in my fics OO Also, jubin _might_ have wanted a Shanks/Luffy pairing but I took the easy way out and interpreted it as genfic XD 


	5. Fever Dreams

**Fever Dreams** (written for scribeprotra; pairing is Crocodile/Luffy; prompt is "dream"; spoilers for Alabasta arc) 

They were running down a long, long tunnel. One sign pointed left and the other pointed right. 

We're pirates! said Luffy, We gotta follow the pirates sign! 

Don't be stupid! screamed Nami, We're going to the VIP room! 

Luffy turned left and everyone else turned right because Nami was so scary when she screamed. 

The door led out into the open desert but it wasn't too hot. A minute later they saw Luffy fall out of the sky into a big cage made of seastone. He gripped the sides of the cage but had to let go because it was making him so weak. Aw man! he cried, This is like the second time I've been in here! 

Crocodile came out from underneath the sands - he couldn't swim because of his Devil Fruit but he could swim in the sands just like a bananacroc and he swam right up into the cage with Luffy. 

At least he's helpless too said Zoro. 

Yeah but he's still got that hook said Usopp. 

Shh said Nami, I've bet Franky 500 Beli that Crocodile will kiss Luffy. 

That's disgusting said Usopp. 

Luffy and Crocodile were both wearing big fur coats. Crocodile was all bloody. Luffy's coat was too big for him. Luffy and Crocodile circled around each other in the cage. Every once in a while one of them would brush up against the bars accidentally and when that happened he would lose a piece of his clothing until finally Crocodile was just wearing his vest and Luffy just his sandals plus both of them were still wearing the coats. 

The fight wasn't really going anywhere and Luffy was getting bored so he pursed his lips and drawled, Hey I'm Sanji: Get away from the meat you shithead. Outside of the cage Usopp burst out laughing and inside of the cage Crocodile burst out laughing and he rushed forward and swung his hook and for a minute it looked like he'd impaled Luffy on it but he really only thrust it under his armpit like they do in the theater and Zoro rushed forward and sliced at the cage because he could cut through steel now and a corner of it came sliding off but as it did something slid off his hand as well and he looked down to see his pinky finger falling off his hand into the sand because it turned out every time he cut metal with his swords he'd lose a finger and when he lost all his fingers he would start losing teeth. 

Get me out of here Zoro! yelled Luffy so Zoro had to slice at the cage again. The pinky finger on his other hand fell off so now he only had eight fingers. 

Suddenly they were all in the men's bath at Alubarna Palace, even Nami. Nami was wearing the bikini she wore on Sky Piea. Luffy and Crocodile were wearing nothing but towels underneath their fur coats. 

I challenge you Crocodile said Luffy to Rock-Paper-Scissors whoever loses has to leave the country forever. 

I won't lose Mugiwara said Crocodile not to an annoying little runt like you. 

I'm the guy who's gonna be the Pirate King! shouted Luffy and a piece of the ceiling fell in. 

Crocodile laughed. What you want to be is me. 

No I don't! 

Yes you do Mugiwara or else you wouldn't be wearing my coat. If you get to be the Pirate King, you'll end up just like me - a hero to the little simple people who have no idea what pirates are, who love you because you're so brave and strong and romantic and all the while you'll know like a crocodile swimming across your brain that you did it for your own selfish reasons - 

Shut up - 

- and you'll be a king with a crown and a kingdom and some underlings and a castle and subjects and laws you'll have to enforce and heads you'll have to behead and gold you'll have to count and praise you'll have to accept and enemies you'll have to crush and it'll all feel so so so good because that's what a king is Mugiwara or did you not know? a king is someone who is powerful through the weakness of millions that's what a king is that's what I am that's what you want to be isn't it isn't it - 

All this time Crocodile was twining his body around Luffy's like a crocodile - or was it a snake? - until their fur coats melted into one and Crocodile's greased head was right next to Luffy's under his straw hat and his hooked hand was right next to Luffy's hand so that it was impossible to tell where the bad man ended and the good man began and Crocodile turned his face right while Luffy turned his left and 

Shh, I've got a bet riding on this 

They said you couldn't die in dreams but Zoro felt like he was dying his heart was splitting so far in two but he couldn't hold it together with just eight fingers and 

"What the crap was that!" 

Usopp paused on his way across the deck as Zoro sat bolt upright. 

"Er - what was what?" the sniper asked tentatively. Sometimes, with Zoro, it was better not to know. 

After a few shudders, Zoro related the whole thing, stealing furtive glances down at his hands to make sure he still had all his fingers. "And Crocodile was just about to kiss Luffy and that's when I woke up," he finished. 

"That's disgusting," said Usopp when he finally recovered his voice. 

"I know." Zoro leaned back and closed his eyes. 

Usopp gaped. "What're you doing!?" he squawked. Sure, Zoro liked his naps, but he couldn't possibly go back to sleep after that...could he? 

"Going back to sleep." 

He could. 

"But why?" 

Zoro shrugged. "Wanna see what happens next." Ignoring his crewmate once and for all, he dropped back into the dreaming world with the ease borne from long years of practice. And by some stroke of luck, things picked up right where they'd left off. 

--End--  
**notes:** The idea came quickly but the fic turned out...weird OO I literally could not wrap my mind around a Crocodile/Luffy pairing; this was the best I could do without it getting ridiculous (in my mind) or massively long. So this was another fic where I felt like I shortchanged the requester. I do like that Zoro feels the urge to see what happens though. I do that all the time, no matter how messed up the dream is XD 


	6. Menu

**Menu** (written for sasorikatana; pairing is Luffy/Nami; prompt is "tangerines"; no spoilers) 

As Captain, he enjoyed certain privileges. Like delivering ultimatums. 

On Monday, Sanji wanted to make North Blue Toast for breakfast: thick, stale-hard slices of bread dipped in egg whites and fried in a skillet. North Blue Toast was very delicious and a rare treat for a crew who did not usually tolerate leftovers. But Luffy said No, let's have toast with that tangerine jam you made. So they did. 

On Tuesday they had juicy cuts of roast duck swimming in a spicy tangerine noodle soup, garnished with beansprouts, parsley, and twirls of tangerine peel. 

On Wednesday they had mousse layered through with graham crackers and tangerines, deliciously chilled against the sudden heat of a nearby summer island. 

On Thursday Franky and Zoro threatened to mutiny against the continuous onslaught of citrus, but Sanji quelled their rebellious mutterings with flank steaks marinated in rich tangerine sauce and grilled with bell peppers. 

On Friday they had huge slabs of dark chocolate flavored with tangerine zest; Chopper loved it so much he hung onto a square gamely with his teeth even as a cyclone raked the sides of Thousand Sunny. After the storm passed the reindeer begged for more chocolate as a reward and Sanji was on the edge of giving in until Robin made some passing comment about root canals. 

On Saturday they had tangerines, just tangerines. The refrigerator was out of meat and the storeroom was out of potatoes and the larder was out of flour. Sanji made a preemptive strike against the rebels, who had recruited Usopp and Chopper into their ranks, by pointing out the shape of an island along the horizon. Eat tangerines tonight and meat tomorrow, he threatened, or nothing tonight and nothing ever again. The rebels made a retreat to the sleeping quarters, famished but cowed. 

On Sunday Nami finally relented and did what Luffy had proposed on Monday: she kissed him in the enclosed crow's nest as they approached the island. Luffy was surprised to find her so slim. He was surprised that his hand could wrap halfway around her waist, and that she was short enough that he had to bend down to meet her lips. He was surprised that she did not taste like the tangerines they'd been eating all week. She tasted like herself - and really that was who she was - Nami the girl from Cocoyashi; the thief who suggested a ridiculous union in East Blue; his navigator. 

Don't you ever think you can pull rank with me again, she said, and he had just enough time to say OK before she kissed him again, and he suddenly understood that Nami could never taste like tangerines but how ever after the taste of tangerines would be of maps and ink and wind and salt water and earth and wood and dust from the road and blood from the knife and old musty rooms and tears and laughter and Nami. 

On Monday they sailed away from the island with their stores replenished. Sanji revealed the bread he'd been saving for the past week. He wanted to make North Blue Toast again and this time Luffy let him. 

--End--  
**notes:** OK for serious, I think I have the order of this fic backwards, but I'm still trying to figure out how to right it without losing the overall feeling of the fic. The idea of Luffy being involved with anyone kind of makes me go "Noooooo!" but if it's Nami (or Zoro) it's almost OK. I am convinced that those three share an Ultra Special Connection beyond the Special Connection Luffy has with everyone in general. Anyway this one turned out pretty cute; the driving force was clearly the food XD 


	7. Glass Jars

**Glass Jars** (written for taikounoemi; pairing is Vivi/Kohza; prompt is "dessert"; no spoilers) 

The week of Princess Vivi's birthday celebrations, Alabasta was a country riotous with joy.й Fireworks were set off over the capital, and in the port town of Nanohana, and in the recovering city of Rain Base. Musicians and magicians performed their art in the streets.й Restaurants threw their doors open wide, inviting passerby to drink a toast to their beautiful, brave little princess who was not so little anymore. 

Somehow, squeezed in between the balls and banquets and speeches and gathering of flowers, Vivi found time to have dinner with her family. They were all there - her father; Ingram and Mrs. Ingram; Chaku and Pell; Luffy and the rest of the Strawhats, who were her second family. 

Everyone was there, except him. 

Vivi tried not to let her eyes stray to the empty seat between Ingram and Pell. It was her birthday! she reminded herself. This was a time to be happy with the friends who _were_ here, not to mope after those who weren't. 

But who should have been. 

He had sent her a picture card two days before. Vivi supposed that was nice of him. On the front it said "Happy Birthday". On the back he'd scrawled, "Yuba going well. Found a water source the other day. Think will make it through the season." 

Vivi didn't know whether to be cheered by the news of recovery or to tear her hair out. 

"Vivi! Hey, Vivi!" 

Startled, she looked up to find Luffy waving at her. "Open my present next!" the rubber boy hollered, and with a _whoosh!_ and a _snap!_, flung his arms down the length of the table - to loud protest from everyone else - until his two hands, a messily wrapped box clutched in the knobby fingers, were right in front of Vivi's plate. 

Vivi smiled and took the jumble of wrapping paper and ribbon and glue. Luffy's arms hurtled back into place, sending food and cutlery flying everywhere. A plate of ham hit Zoro in the face. A barrage of sugared yams assaulted Sanji. As a miniature scuffle broke out at the far side of the table, Chaka and Pell fluttering on the edges, Vivi used a knife to pry open the crust of glitter at the top of the box. 

"Oh!" As soon as the box was open, Vivi had to thrust the present away from her - she couldn't help it. Inside a small glass tank lined with grass and bits of twig was the biggest horned beetle Vivi had ever had the astonishment to see. Its body was a hard, shiny black and the massive horns looked as deadly as a stag's. It was eating a leaf. 

"Isn't it great?" Luffy yelled from beneath the blows raining down on his head. "We went back to Jaya and found him in the forest!й I've got one and Chopper has one - wanna see?" 

Everyone else did. Her father, in particular, was peering into the tank with nearly as much enthusiasm as the pirate captain. "Now what you want to do, Vivi dear," he said, "is get another male, so they can battle. Do we have any ships leaving for Jaya tonight?" 

"I know a man who breeds them," said Ingram. "You have to keep them on a special diet, he says. How about this, Princess? Let's return the gift I got you and we'll buy some beetle food instead." 

"I -" Vivi had to laugh, even despite her nervousness at the thick black legs scrabbling at the glass. Had she expected anything less? "That's a good idea, Ingram, Father," she said. "In fact, maybe I'll go see if there are any leaves from the garden he can eat." And excusing herself, went out the veranda to take in the cool, nighttime desert air. 

That was the best kind of present, she reflected, when your friends loved you so well they couldn't even imagine any difference in your interests. To Luffy, who saw his friends simply as an extension of himself, Vivi _must_ like horned beetles because _he_ liked horned beetles. And to Kohza, what happier birthday for a princess could there be than to know her country was reviving itself from devastation, the way their desert nation blossomed in the rain after long years of drought? 

Vivi hesitated, fingering the spiky leaf of a nearby rose tree. That wasn't quite right. She was happy to receive the beetle from Luffy. A picture poscard with a pre-printed greeting and a curt, hasty message was _not_ good enough from Kohza. That was her whole problem, she thought, now shredding rose leaves furiously. She was too nice, too generous, too willing to think the best of people. It was her birthday! It was _her_ day! Nevermind the fireworks and parades - she could do without those. If her birthday was really about her - _really_ about her - then the least that her oldest friend could do was show up before the servers cleared away the dishes and mopped up the floor and - 

"Vivi?" 

She whirled around - the rose tree half bare by now - at the sound of her name. And there he was in the doorway, outlined against the candlelight of the banquet room: dusty, grimy, tracking sand all over the floor, squinting uncertainly at her through those ridiculous golden-tinted glasses he insisted on wearing. 

Ooooh - if he thought all would be forgiven just because he _showed up_ and just because he managed to look handsome even with the sweat of travel clinging to him, and stood in the pool of candlelight so that his golden hair shone just so, well - well - he thought right. 

Her other problem, Vivi thought ruefully as she crossed the veranda to greet him, was that she didn't know how to stay mad. 

"When did you arrive?" she asked, stopping shyly a few feet away. She suddenly felt very silly in her silk gown and jewels. 

Kohza seemed shy as well. "A minute ago. Here." He thrust a package at her, inexpertly wrapped in brown paper. "I was gonna send it by post," he mumbled, "Big fancy palaces ain't the place for me. but my dad said, he said - uh, well, anyway - you look real nice." He shook the package slightly, gesturing for her to take it. 

Vivi did, crossing the last few feet between them. It was her birthday and she was feeling bold, so she said, "Right here beside me is the place for you.й Isn't that what he said?" and looked up at Kohza. 

He turned a deep, embarrassed red. "Something like that," he mumbled. "He said the post wasn't running this week 'cuz of your birthday so I'd have to give to you myself if I wanted to give it at all." 

"Oh." Disappointment. But some men really were that clueless. She undid the heavy string holding the paper together.й Inside was her second glass jar of the evening, but instead of housing a beetle this one contained sand. Nothing else. Just layers of sand - the silt of the river bank on the bottom; rich soil from the oasis above it; old dark sand from long ago; grainy, mineral-flecked sand from the shrub; pebbly sand from the ocean shore; and on top of all that the fine, slippery, golden sand from the deep desert. All of Alabasta he had given her. 

This was the other best kind of present, when your friends gave you what they loved because you loved it as well. It was like receiving a heart, nestled in a round glass jar. 

"The desert," she said, gazing at the layers of gold and brown, feeling his eyes on her. "You've given me the desert." 

"Dessert?" 

_Pop!_ went the little magic spell, burst through like a soap bubble. They both whirled around. Luffy's head poked around the corner of the doorway. Muffled voices in the background signaled that the others were not far behind. 

"Did Sunglasses-man bring dessert?" Luffy repeated "It looks good!" And without waiting for a reply stretched out an arm with another _whoosh!_ and plucked the jar from Vivi's hands. 

"Luffy, wait -" Vivi began, but it was too late. Before she or Kohza could even reach out a hand to stop him, Luffy had upended the jar of desert and dumped its contents into his mouth. And swallowed. And immediately started coughing and hacking. 

"Wa'er!" he gasped, and reeled backwards. The glass jar flew up, abandoned.й Kohza hastily rushed forward to catch it. 

"Mugiwara! You -" He spun around the yell at the rubber boy, but deflated at the sight of Luffy's crew already doing that and then some. Usopp and the man called Franky pounded on Luffy's back while Chopper screamed for a doctor. "Oh, no!" the reindeer wailed. "That's me!" Nami and Zoro took turns yelling the differences between a desert and dessert into Luffy's ear, even as Sanji forced a barrelful of water down the boy's throat. Nico Robin stood in the background, laughing quietly into one hand. 

Vivi laughed until tears came out of her eyes and she had to clutch at Kohza's cloak to keep from doubling over. He looked at her in some astonishment. There was nothing left in the jar except for a few sad trails of river silt. 

"You aren't mad?" 

Vivi managed to smile at him. "I'm not mad," she assured him, fighting to get her giggles under control. With an effort, she straightened back up. "It's enough that you're here." 

"But your desert..." Kohza trailed off, looking genuinely distressed. Ahead of them, the party was moving back inside with only a minimum of bickering. 

Vivi reached over and took his hand. "We _are_ the desert," she said softly. "You and me." 

He considered it for a while, then curled his own shy hand around hers. He said, awkwardly, "That almost makes us dessert." 

It was a bad pun riding on the coattails of a punned mistake, but Vivi knew what it meant: it meant she had now gotten everything she'd wanted for her birthday. 

She shook her head and smiled, and led him to the table. 

--End--  
**notes:** This was another hard one to do, trying to find a happy medium between 'cute' and 'overly fluffy.' Not to mention it was hard to break free of the Vivi-Coza-Zoro triangle from "Snow Queen" - I had to constantly cut Zoro out of this fic! At first the gift-giving scene was much longer before I remembered to keep the focus on Vivi and Coza. Whatever I do, I can't seem to stop writing him as an ass, but I really do like this pairing and think it's one of the more probable and functional pairings in the series. Except for the "Hey wasn't it hilarious when I declared war on your dad" thing, but let's not set our standards _too_ high. 


	8. Warmth

**Warmth** (written for the lj comm 'fanfic100'; pairing is Nami/Sanji; prompt is "lovers"; no spoilers) 

One night when he climbs down the rigging from his turn at watch and Robin climbs up it for her turn after him, he goes down the stairs instead of down the hatch, turns the knob of the door very softly and slips into bed beside her. It is something of what he wants and something of what she wants, but even so there are rules he must follow. 

They do not lie side by side or face to face. They lie with the heart in his breast beating against the curve of her spine and his nose grazing the crown of her head. It is the only way she allows him in her bed, and anyway the bed is very narrow; it is the only way they will fit. 

His hands and mouth do not roam. His lips move only to speak while his fingers are constrained by her own, weaving in and out and around, callused fingers meeting rough knuckle. 

Their breathing is composed and quiet and Nami knows that when Robin returns to the room she will politely ignore the extra, broad-shouldered form in the bed. And because Sanji arises without fail before first light to light the kitchen, it will be easy in the morning to feign innocence. And Robin will smile and play along. 

"If you try anything," she whispers to the warmth at her back, "I'll kill you." 

Sanji makes no answer except to shift ever so slightly. Nami knows she has nothing to fear; she is speaking to test her voice in the dark. She remembers his words at Enies Lobby - even if I die, I'll never hurt a woman - and she knows it is true. If there is any honesty to Sanji underneath the posturing and bluffing and vulgarity, this is it. Sanji will not hurt a woman. Whether he dies from bloodloss or from desire, he will not do anything Nami does not want him to do. 

It's important to her, who knows what it is to have everything taken away, to know that Sanji will offer her anything she wants and will take only what is offered. What she has to offer isn't much; what she wants is even less. The warmth of a strong body, free of blood and soot and sweat and the twist of desperation in the stomach. For just a few hours between moonrise and sunrise no dreams; no companions; no round-eyed intensity from a fey-child captain; just two love-wary people in the dark, his arms on her arms, his fingers twined around her fingers resting in the hollow of her breast, his hair in her hair, his eyes full of her and her eyes gazing out at the darkened room. 

Nami feels the peculiar pleasure of her hair being stirred and smoothed against his cheek. She imagines what it must look like if the room weren't dark: orange locks mingled with golden ones in perfect imitation of a sunset or tangerine in summer or any other bright thing. It isn't something she wants to see yet. 

This is enough. For now, it's enough. Tomorrow he will retreat behind a caricature, terrified of revealing his own true self. Tomorrow she will be bossy and demanding, hiding her great capacity for selflessness under slaps and punches. Fists raised and tongue sharpened, she will wait for him to be honest - she will wait for the real thing that encircles her in the concealing dark to emerge from its glossy-hard shell in the daylight so that she can want more and offer more - lie side by side and face to face and maybe even have a friendly talk. 

Sanji's breathing has slowed. It is deep and regular and warm against her hair. He is asleep. Now that he no longer guards it the weight of his body is heavy and sweet, pressing down on her like an anchor; like a blanket; like a weary child. 

Nami pulls him closer. 

--End--  
**notes:** As is fairly obvious, I ship the good ship Nami/Sanji. I actually don't see this scene happening in my personal fanon, but it's a nice scene that's both sweet and dysfunctional. If I took their relationship in "Another Romantic Dawn" and inserted it back into the canon-verse, it might look something like this, I think. All in all I like the way this one turned out. Feedback is always, always welcome; please leave some ;; 


End file.
